Do you have in your mind and heart a person that mostly has it all together? Whose home is in order? Schedule is rightly balanced between family, work and serving in the Kingdom? Time to really focus on spiritual, personal and physical development, equally? And of course daily, intimate, focused time with God Almighty? Don’t get me wrong, even in all that, there are glitches; so I’m not talking about a perfect life that glistens with the glow of angels surrounding you with every step you take. I’m talking about a life that doesn’t feel like you are always behind, out of breath, and constantly trying to keep up with the vision in your mind. That life.
Well, even if it is just me, it’s real! There is an unbelievable life in my head and the more I work on getting to it, the more I fail. I love the person and the life in my mind. She is strong and confident and rolling through life, in the moment. She is without a doubt busy, but it’s a good, strong busy. She is able to keep up with housecleaning, cook a few times a week for her husband, keep up with her homework and really digest all she is learning at a healthy pace. She is not racing to the next thing or forgetting something from the last thing. She is able to take time to really sit before God and work with Him on all the things He whispers to her heart throughout the day. She is living life to the fullest with a completely peaceful heart - and I just can't seem to catch up to her! Or, have I? The Bible says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18). Just when I am about to catch up to the last thing the Lord has put in my heart and mind, He expands the vision! He moves the boundaries! He enlarges the dream! My Pastor said to me once, “The moment you feel like you know what you are doing, God is probably not involved” (or something very close to that). So maybe I have caught up to her and am in step to where we are headed.
Here’s what I am learning about tension…it’s going to always be there, as long as your vision is of God. It needs to always be there! God is not small. GOD IS BIG! It takes time to become the person you see in your heart and mind, and God has nothing but time. There are no deadlines in the Kingdom. You are right where you're supposed to be, and if you're not, when you fully surrender your life, God will certainly move you there and redeem the time that has been lost! HE IS SO FAITHFUL!
If you have asked Jesus to move into your heart, you have the Spirit of the living God inside of you and He will certainly give you a glimpse of the work He wants to begin doing in you, so that He can start His great work through you! The only thing He wants you to do after that is hang on to Him for dear life. Where we mess up is when we get the snapshot, we set out to accomplish it for God. He didn’t ask us to do that. He never does. He doesn’t put on us the responsibility to accomplish His work. That would set us up for great failure. When God gives you a glimpse of who you will be and where He is taking you, sit back, hang on and enjoy the ride! “What do you mean by that Michelle? That’s ridiculous! Work has to be done!” Yes it does sister and brother, and you better get to it! Get to abiding in Him like never before and working hard to get up 15 minutes earlier in the morning so you can spend some time with the One who knows the way! That’s the work! That’s your part!
I can’t put words to it, but He does it. What I had to learn to do was not panic when He shows me where He is taking me. When I panic and get overwhelmed, I shut down. That doesn't help the situation in case you were wandering. dDon’t panic at the grandness of what God is showing you. He sees the beginning from the end and He has a great plan to get you there. Some parts of the journey might be painful, but other parts will be glorious and both will be worth it all. Here lately, what God is revealing in my heart and mind has become clearer and bigger and greater and grander than anything I am capable of! It is for you too! That’s the awesome thing about it, as it all unfolds, as you and I go along, everyone around us will have to see that only God could do something so great! All glory will have to go to GOD alone!
Whatever and whoever you see in your heart and mind is nowhere near to where He is taking you. So rather than live in frustration, thinking you have to get rid of the tension, learn to live with the tension. Kingdom tension is perfect tension. You are not shown a vision by God so that you can go and accomplish it, and live in frustration when you don't. No! You are given glimpses of the vision so that you can see how desperate you are for Him!
Jesus has so much for you dear one! Let Him have your heart and watch and see! Just hang on to Him!